the little things that come with Autism

Okay well, here is the story. My daughter and I love these Pepperidge Farm cakes chocolate with chocolate that you keep in the fridge. Oh just writing it I wish we had some. Anyway, my daughter wanted to know if she could serve us the last piece of it. The boys were still out of town so I told her yea, just get it out. So then she shows me this huge piece that is left over and asks if she can have it. I giggle at her and tell her to cut it in half. So my wonderful daughter does, and she shows me that she didn't do a good job and I just assure her that it is fine. Of course if anyone has ever had these cakes the best is the icing when it is cold. Oh man, I am gonna have to go to the store. Anyway, the piece she showed me was missing the icing, but I said nothing. She apparently placed it on the table and went to eat her piece. I hear her yelling no to the do and telling her to get down...our dog likes to wander in the kitchen and clean up what the kids might have dropped. She brings me the cake and I tell her I will be right there. I stop folding laundry and go grab my piece of cake which is now on the kitchen counter. lol I'm sorry I am laughing so hard I can't type. So I see my piece of cake and yea it is missing the icing, but hey it is chocolate cake. So I am in the kitchen eating my cake and we are talking when,... she tells me that she gave me some of her icing on her cake. Well, um I didn't have any icing on my cake. So I ask her what, but there wasn't any. She says well Sadie got it. lol At this point I have just finished the last bite of my cake. She says I took some of my icing and put it on your cake, but Sadie got it. So I am like she ate it off my cake. Her answer, "yea, but she didn't eat all the cake." I couldn't help it I went to laugh and spit cake all over the kitchen. I was like Allison, if she ate the icing she got ahold of my cake. You should have told me I was so irritated. I mean she stood there and let me eat the whole cake, but the child honestly didn't see anything with it. OMG. She ran off to the bathroom and I was just standing in the kitchen. I went to go talk to her and I could hear her in the bathroom - laughing hysterically. She inside and on the outside of the door I am laughing so hard trying not to let her hear me I am crying. I explained to her that if the dog got part of the cake I should not have eaten it. That was like the dog getting all of it. We laughed so hard and swore me to secrecy. She did allow me to tell her brothers when they came home and they laughed so hard in the car. Ah the little moments.
Who cares that it was at my expense? so I ate after the dog *laughing hysterically* it is a page in our story. The shock to my best friend was that she actually just let me eat it. Oh well, I guess I won't want her serving me the cake or make sure I hold the dog. lol
**Good thing she isn't gonna read this**

quality time

So I was working on my computer and my husband was doing an online class. My boys have been waiting for school to end so they could go to my Uncle's in San Antonio. They will be staying for a week and I have been asked about the trip repeatedly since 2 months before school was even going to be out. Tomorrow is the day he is coming to pick them up. Anyhoo, my oldest son looks at me and says can you please get off the computer so we can play a family game. OMG how could any parent resist? So I saved my drafts, shut off the computer and we sat to play a game of UNO!! UNO - a classic, still to this day. I used to love that game when I was a kid, of course it was the new UNO, ummm oh yea UNO ATTACK. lol We just love the fear when we have to hit the button and cards may or may not spew out at us. We got so loud playing, but we were having so much fun. My husband who was still working on his class got annoyed 'cuz we were so loud, but oh well. He just got up and locked himself in the bedroom. We continued to play, switching cards with another player or making them press the darn button until cards shot out at them. The best part of the game is when my daughter used a switch cards with someone and she chose me. I only had three...ugh so close. So my son starts laughing and he says I can't believe you did that I only have two. He precedes to show us all his TWO cards, but fails to realize he is showing us his cards. We are all dying laughing and when he realizes what exactly happened he is oh lets say not as thrilled as he had only a moment ago been. We told him thank you so much for making us laugh. So I get lucky and win round one. We go again and my youngest son says that we are playing this game until he gets to win. Well, this round is lasting at least 25 minutes and my oldest(Chris) apparently changes the color of the cards continuously and we don't know why. So my daughter asking me what she should do has a card where everyone has to push the button until cards spit out. I tell her play it and Chris hears. He looks at me and is so upset because he says he has been trying to put the colors that "Benny" has so he can win. I look at my daughter and she puts down the color requested for him to win - yellow. It was just a game and I believe kids should learn that they won't always win and there are disappointments, but that letting him win wasn't the only reason she decided to play her yellow card. How could we ruin what Chris had been working at for his brother? So unconditionally wanting him to be happy. Guess there are other lessons you learn and teach when playing a game. Sometimes you just want to do something nice to boost someone's confidence & lol then you could just want the game to end already.
I am glad my kids and I got to spend this time together. My daughter is upset they are leaving. She is worried as is in her nature, she is my worrier. Come to think of it I am sick about them leaving too. I have never sent them away in the summer before. I know my boys will look out for eachother they are eachothers best friend I'm just gonna miss them something awful. It will be an experience on all of us. I am praying for a good one!!

Talking autism

Oh the world of autism. I used to feel so alone and limited as to who I could talk to about autism. I wanted ideas, other peoples stories just to know that this is how it goes. That it will be better. Little did I know I would find something called twitter and see advocates @thebucknation,@tannersdad, parents @autismfamily, children with autism @CarlysVoice and even a few celebrities @JennyfromMtv in one common place anytime, anywhere sharing or taking a stand. Encouraging me in their own twitter way that I am not alone as a parent or advocate of awareness for my children. Using the power of technology in the best possible way. All our opinions might not be the same, but that is what leads to other ideas or knowledge. There are many other twitterer parents, advocates, celebrities and even people with autism I'm sure I've left out, but you all have helped me just as much. Thank you!

End of school & Summer

Ah the joys of summer, with no school for a while. As a parent I am truly excited. To spend more time with my kiddos, as they are growing faster than I would like. I would like to say that I have so many things planned for our summer, but well life happens. My transmission on my truck is out so while I am still car shopping we will be homebound for awhile. That doesn't mean we won't have plenty to do. I figure I'll get them to "spring" clean their rooms to start off our summer. Ah, they will be so angry excited. (You do hear the sarcasm right?) But I look at it that if we get that over and done with then we all just got to do upkeep. Oh I'll sell it to them somehow just to make it not seem so awful. We have loads of board games they still like to play as long as I sit down with them. I love that. That still, with one going off to high school & both boys in Jr. high, they would like to spend time with me. I am a lucky, lucky parent. Then we have trips to the pool, tennis matches on Wii, $1 movies on Wednesday(if we can get there) and well, crow that is only the first week. lol My boys are going to my uncles for a week. They are going to go help get the lease ready and shoot their rifles or gun or well I never call them by the correct name. My daughter, my oldest will be staying with me so we can bond a little more before the big jump to high school. She has PDD, and has just started showing different interests, wanting to know about things she didn't care about before and it may be delayed, but I am so thrilled. I haven't picked them up from school yet, but I am sure by later I will be an emotional wreck. I just don't know where all the time has gone. I do know that I promise to try and enjoy every moment of our summer together. :)M

common sense

Okay as a mom with two autistic children, high functioning which is well a way to chop up Autism in several different layers of layers. Any hoo, I am blessed that I am like most parents and relish in the little things, but even I have my limits. lol I laugh because I see why God has led my daughter specifically to me. She is my own reminder of enjoying every moment and to not assume everyone always GETS IT. I tend to always say how stupid people annoy me. Who am I to think that everyone gets something simply because I do (on that particular thing)?. My daughter has finally grasped the idea that if I tell her or ask her a question not to simply repeat the exact same thing because she doesn't know the answer or understand. It is simpler just tell me I don't understand what you are asking or saying. Something so simple reminding me that she doesn't get it. She can't help it. I have always known to rephrase things just so - so she would understand or get the look that lets me know she isn't getting a word I am saying. But then what about other folks that don't know her like I do or get her look of worry. So in a quest to help her father grasp that just because he thinks she should understand she doesn't. All she has to say is "I don't understand what you are asking me." Now tell her chores to do or anything else she gets it hey that's great, but we forget there are just some things that are day to day that she isn't gonna quite understand. I live with Amelia Bedelia she takes things literally and we have gotten her up to "speed" on a lot of things which now she finds amusing. We have moments still, but aren't we all "Still Learning".
PATIENCE is so rewarding. I was helping my parents with their yard work, my dad is going blind due to macular degeneration, so I was on the riding lawn mower. I was doing my thing, while my daughter was swinging (the child could swing from dawn to dusk if I let her) anyway I came to a spot where the dog had pulled her running lead and was blocking me from going straight. So here I am on the lawn mower trying to inch up & see if I can move the rope slowly to get myself (and mower) underneath. When what is this??? My daughter runs up and smiles at me and lifts up the rope so I could go under. I was flabbergasted. I didn't have to ask her or explain to her what needed to happen here. She just saw me from her swing and came over to help me. These are the moments I live for. When love, understanding and a parent willing to still learn and be patient can have such rewards. To some this may seem small, but to me it was a yell from a mountain top. I hope that all parents learn to revel in the little things and please don't take anything for granted. (and to me don't assume people are just going to get it) Common sense can be overrated!! Who said it was common anyway?!

Life changes so quickly

It is with a heavy heart that I share the loss of two Houston firemen this past Easter Sunday. They were battling a "routine" house fire. As a fireman's wife, I know there is no such thing as a routine fire. There are just to many variables. What I can tell you is that I was upset to learn when I woke up Easter Sunday to hear that just after midnight two firemen were unaccounted for at a roll call after they pulled out from the house. The winds were not helping their battle and they decided to go defensive instead. One man had been with the department 30 years, a veteran whose family was probably still sleeping before their Easter was underway. The other a probie, he had just finished training in March. We also had the privilege of having him serve our country before he took this on. He had already been to Iraq, I believe twice. I know that danger is part of the job. Their loved ones sacrifice their loved ones to help other people because they love their job and helping people is an extra to them. Sunday started off rainy and gloomy, but turned into the most beautiful day ever. Maybe them shining down on us and trying to lighten the day on their families left behind. I would like to think so. The funeral for them is Thursday, and if you have never been to a fireman's funeral let me tell you they can be rough. Not because you may know them directly, but because it is like family, an extended family. You may not see them all the time, but if you need something they are there in a heartbeat. Please keep their families in your thoughts and prayers. Keep in mind when a fireman shows up to a fire, no matter how routine you think it is - anything can happen. Thank a fireman the next time you see one. Let them know they are appreciated and recognized for the dangers they face everday!!!

Birthdays

As we get older, people tend to want to forget their birthday. I haven't really ever gotten that, well I did when I turned 30 and realized it is just a number. The saying, "you are only as old as you feel" is so true. Anyway, I just had my 23 36th birthday with pride. lol I mean I don't feel anything different. I look almost the same and hell, I still get carded when I buy an alcoholic drink. All kidding aside it isn't the fact I get carded and am old older, but the fact that I have been living for 36 years and I was given a chance to choose the way my life goes. It is up to me to make it count!!
It started off a great weekend, Friday night with friends. Saturday was my day to recover from Friday and I felt bad. I realized my kids, much like others I'm sure, pay attention to the littlest of things we do when they don't feel good. They brought me aspirin, covered me with blankets and wanted to be sure I didn't need a trash can. I was having a migraine and hangover headache in one. So, while I was feeling miserable, my children were amazing me. I do get pretty bad headaches so they know how bad I feel when I have one. **Something to remember - what does just a headache even feel like? Be glad if you are lucky enough to have those.** So I made myself get up because I wasn't gonna waste my day. The weather was gorgeous I couldn't have asked God for better. So we all wash up, they made me soup and were waiting with a movie when I came out. We opened up the windows so the breeze could come in and all piled in my king size bed. We did that most of the day and went to the park for a while too. Our mistake was wearing shorts in April. That's right I said April. We got cold because we were getting in some type of cool front that apparently doesn't know it is freakin' April. So we stayed as long as we could stand it and then went home. Now I love fishing and they really wanted to go, but we were so cold. So we said we could do it another time. Sunday was a day planned of going to my parents. They were going to bbq and I had been looking forward to it. I had also allowed my daughter to go to my parents the night before so she could help make the cake(which was chocolate). We came over in time to eat lots of food, lots of cake and open presents. Then we went outside to play games and guess what?? It was still cool outside. lol We stayed out for a bit and then came in and the kids all spread out doing there own thing. We were going to rent a movie to all watch together, but it ended up just my dad and I. There are few things my dad and I do together anymore so it was nice. When we got home, I guess it bothered the kids that they didn't get to go shopping for me. So they all made me their own cards and handed me prized possessions of their own for my birthday presents. lol I was touched, but told them the best presents I had were them themselves. I thanked them and told them to keep "my presents" back in their rooms. I will say the day was no different than others. We did things we would normally do, but I sure did appreciate everything I had so much more. "if you want to see how rich you are, count all the things you have that money can't buy"

Chores & money

Okay so I have heard friends talk about how they pay their children for chores done at home. Well I had always assumed they should do them because I let them live with me -- ha ha. No, not really just simply that they should contribute to the family like the rest of us do. It is just helping out. Then we made a trip to the store and my kids wanted to look at movies. So for some darn reason I said alright. I mean there were some new movies that came out I may want to look at too! Can we say mistake?! I keep making those, but no one said parenting had a manual. lol I mean it is trial and error and every child is different. Anyhoo, on with the story. They all find something they want and have all decided to try and show me their movie at the same time. It is like a band testing their instruments at the same time. So I get this bright idea and tell them they should start saving their own money and then they can spend it on what they want. My loving children then remind me they don't get paid for chores. So I let them know they will be from now on. "Hooray" they are cheering in the middle of the store - clammering with excitement. They have no idea!! So upon leaving the store I must get reminded at least 10 times on the way home about the chores and the money. Ugh it is my own fault. Children will already never let you forget something if they are to gain, but tell a child with Autism who wants to know everything before or warned and OH don't even ask. Life lessons always lessons. Anyway, we wrote chores on paper, and folded them up, placed them in a hat and had them draw for chores. It was interesting - they were actually excited! lol muahahaha I felt like I was plotting something evil they were so excited. Of course some were happy with their chores and others not so much. It was all even though in some sort of way.
I am not into raising a child to think everything has to be fair. You get what you get and if someone gets something better I believe you should be happy for them not envious. That is what I am trying to teach my kids. Let me tell you it isn't easy.
The week began and they have been on top of their chores now for 3 weeks. If we have to remind them to do their chores they are docked pay. I absolutely love it. They may have small snags of forgetfullness, but a sibling usually reminds them so it is great at team work. They are learning the value of a dollar, responsibility and how to be a team player. Their is nothing like taking care of a toy or game you bought with your own money. ONLY they know how hard they worked for it so it is appreciated much more. It appears to be working SO FAR - I'll keep you updated. *crosses fingers**

After spring break

Well, as most parents know Spring Break (kid vacation) is now over. Yes, we had wonderful, gorgeous weather that you could not have asked for, but we got it. The kids played outside, went fishing, and definitely stayed up too late. *along with mommy* So there is no surprise that Daddy showed up late for work on Monday, the kids didn't want to get up and for some reason the dog decided at 5 AM that she needed to go out. Normally I would curse the dog, oh wait I did, but she is the only reason I woke up in time to get the kids to school. That was by far the longest morning ever. The lunches weren't done, even though I had told the kids 20 50 times to make them. Thank God their clothes were picked out already or they would have gone to school like little hobos. Not that I have anything against hobo's of course, I don't even know if they are around anymore. The whole morning I can't even remember - I'm pretty sure it was because I was on autopilot. I can say that despite the harrying morning I missed the kids terribly. I was so used to them waking me up at 10 am lol and wanting to climb in bed and watch a movie. It was nice when I picked them up **pauses **for about 10 minutes. That is when I remembered why I love school. A day of them at school is my day at the spa. Okay that could be going a bit to far, but you know what I mean right?! lol I mean you know this - it is almost like a sitter. I mean we do pay school taxes right. Enough said!!! I can say even though they started school again, this week seems imaginely long. By the time Friday afternoon gets here it will seem like a really long week! C'mon Friday!!!

Kids, Rodeo and the end of Spring Break

Okay, so went to the Rodeo with the kids. Before we even get there I have to hear "are we there yet?" Um this is when I am thinking no we are still driving aren't we? So I answer with an annoyed no b/c this is now the 5th time I have said no!! We get there and meet friends to enjoy the carnival and animals. Pfeww can those animals all under one big roof sure put off a smell. Any hooo we start off buying tickets. $50 for 100 tickets - yea that puts a hole in your pocket. 100 tickets it sounds like a lot right - NO. It costs like 6-7 tickets for a ride and between 3 kiddos that goes fast!! We hadn't even made it halfway through the carnival when we had to go back for more. Another $50 worth of tickets and we continue our venture through hell journey. Those tickets are now dwindling down to almost nothing and of course when a ride is actually chosen not everyone wants to get on. Mistake number one on a "family" ride. I see this crazy coaster, looks harmless I mean there are kids maybe seven getting on and fine at the end so "how bad can it be?" B-A-D I convince my children well two of them to get on the ride. It isn't high and barely has any drops and we can all sit in it at the same time. They agree!!!! *bad this is bad* So it is our turn - we pay our large sum of tickets and get on. Kids in the middle my husband and I on the end. We are off.... my daughter is starting to panic and the sheer noise of the click click click as the mini coaster takes it's climb. Hell the sound is even getting me worked up. Maybe from the rememberence of riding coasters when I was a kid or maybe from the fact that deep in my belly I know what is about to happen. Oh Lord here we go! The "drop" if you want to call it that at the end of our climb is small, suttle like a bump in the car - doesn't matter just the psychi alone has the two of them worked up. It is fast and jolting and they like to know what they are in for. We weave around and are making our way to the first real "dip" which is slightly deeper than the first little bump. Panic sheer panic they are yelling they want to get off. Yea, let me pull on over and let you off - believe me if I could after seeing what is coming up I WOULD!! We now have two totally freaking out kids in our car. The whole carnival can probably hear them by now and that isn't even what our finale will be. I am now at this point trying with everything not to laugh - just out of sheer nervousness. My husband doesn't handle these "situations" I usually do so he has now idea what "we" are in for. Remind me to tell you about the fishing trip from hell. Anyway, I look at my husband with this look of brace yourself and remain completely calm. OOps last moment and WOW I tell them close your eyes and here we go. This drop is even doing a number now on my stomach. What were they thinking throwing this in the little kid ride?! My daughter is screaming and he is yelling how he wants to go home. They are both crying and my husband is like getting irritated that they are scared and crying. Which of course is irritating me? I mean they can't help it. Geez and this is why I usually handle these situations b/c I am usually the only one brave enough to make them try. We get to the end and I tell my daughter it's over. Don't cry honey that is it we are gonna get off now. Then we get there and our cart is still moving when we should be getting off. Internally I am panicking. OMG if they don't get us out of here I am going to literally kill someone. I can't go through that again - my husband will have a cardiac and my kids will be scarred for life. I can convince them to try it, but that only works once. HELLOOOO?!!!
We get off finally some man stops us and is calling someone to help hold our cart because it keeps wanting to continue the ride. *He didn't know it, but he saved his own life* We firmly plant our feet on the ground I look at my daughter and she says "at least I tried it". I just gave her a huge hug and my son says that the best part of the ride was when it stopped. Little did he know he almost had to wait for that a little longer than intended. You would think after that our little trip to the Rodeo would almost be over huh? WRONG We walk down and my other son, the one who didn't ride, runs up asking them, "well how was it?" Then he looks at their faces and says, "nevermind I know you didn't like it". Kids are so in tune with eachother ( or it could have been the tear stained cheeks they both had). lol We stick to mostly houses now! You know like the house of mirrors, a "haunted" house, a fun house and any other house that we pass along the way. Finally it is time for food. Have you ever tried to get food at the Rodeo let alone for five, 3 of them being children. That is an adventure in itself. It is a miracle they agree on pizza - pizza at the Rodeo. I am wanting roasted corn and sausage on a stick. Anyway, the hard part is over they are all getting food at the same place. WRONG The hard part is having the kids all carry their food through the sea of bodies. People in line, or standing to eat or just simply having their own battle of deciding where to eat. Ribbons should be given out for the sheer nature of bobbing and weaving with a paper plate with 2 huge slices of pizza on it, and making it with the pizza still on the plate to a safe place. We snake through and keep an eye out for our friends so we won't have to call them on the cell just to locate them. Cell phones are the best source of GPS for friends, kids or parents. You just pick it up, dial and ask the famous question "WHERE YOU AT?" lol Anyway we find a nice spot on the ground near the grass and sit. Ah sitting feels good by now it feels like my feet are gonna fall off, but the kids are not complaining so we will continue on. (after lunch of course) I am holding off for the corn and sausage. It is all on a stick I can eat and walk. Okay so more walking, more houses and finally 5, yes 5 hours later they are ready to go home. The whole point was to wear them out-it must have worked because they complained the whole way walking to the truck! My legs hurt or my feet are tired. Um YOU THINK! I am older than you my feet were tired about 3 1/2 hours ago. It is all in fun though right. They had a good time and there was peace on the ride home. they slept:)