Dangerous toothpaste ��

Well, she is ASD & has the label PDD-NOS. She sure tries me at times. I can't tell if it's "autism" or teen years. I mean wow it's like looking back in time at moments. Her words and actions were at one time mine.
So we have small battles almost always. It's very frustrating. Wait till you hear tonight's...
So bed time is upon us and I tell the teens to brush there teeth before bed. The boys do it no problem, She flat out tells me NO!! WTF?? I mean I would never have told my parents no as a teenager and live to tell about it. The boys are like frozen, they have no idea what to expect or do. They hurry to finish and take off to their room. (across from the bathroom). I tell her again to brush and she is having none of it. This has been an ongoing battle for weeks now. She used to brush too much, now I don't remember how that was possible. So I tell her again and she is so dead set against it she stands there, in the bathroom, tears running down her face... Omg really!? It's not that big of a deal!! (or is it)*as my youngest would say. So the boys come back because they know this can only end badly. I have already told her the Wii is going to be taken out of her room. Her comment when the boys remind her what I just said, " the remote is dead anyway." oh sweet Lord, was I really like this?. So what comes next TV!! All the electronic gadgets she has collected will be confiscated NOW! She cares and is upset, but still not enough I guess. So I tell her I'm getting the belt. Rofl I haven't spanked my kids since they were 10. I hated it then and I sure as hell was hoping she would remember how it was so I didn't have to remind her. I mean I said it, I would have to follow through. Nice going Mel. Ugh. Well, it took her moving at a snails pace to get in the bathroom and brush, but she was in there. My boys were talking to me when I tell them I need to check on her. The boys are awful and suggest she is just running her brush under the water. Wow glad I didn't have brothers. I walk in there and she is brushing and then I know to ask if she used toothpaste? Dumb question you say... Not if you know my daughter! She has another fit and isn't wanting to use it. I get her a cup to help her rinse because I notice she hates having the taste in her mouth after. Well she brushes, finishes and asks me if she is going to be okay because she swallowed a little.
Do you hear it?? IT'S MY LIGHTBULB TURNING ON!!! My daughter, who has read the label, has noticed it says contact medical if it is swallowed:( I'm not kidding - it was that simple. I talk to her ask her, "do you think I would give you something that would hurt you?" She answers, "no". So I ask is that why you haven't been wanting to brush - her answer YES!! I tell her if she would have just told me I could have explained the la el warning a bit better to her. Her anxiety dissipates. My poor sweet girl. She apologizes for not telling me her fear and I tell her it would just make it easier for her and I - if we communicated better. I won't know how to help if you don't tell me:7
I call the boys in the room and explain her thought process to them. They are dumbfounded. They also try making her laugh since she was so upset.
Lord, I have the best kids!!
All in all I succeeded in getting her to brush and at the same time got her to understand she has to explain things to me sometimes just like I do with her and her brothers.
This whole process took 20 minutes, which I swear felt like an eternity.

Goat show

This will be a long post. This is where my son's "autism spectrum disorder" and the end of our goat journey come together. Now how they come together is the story. My fear is the story.
So for four months students in the Ag class raise an animal. My son as most know chose a goat. He had to care for it, medicate it, arrange for his living quarters and keep them clean. Then once the four months are over - he preps it to enter the school districts FFA Livestock show. Let me tell you just ordering the FFA jacket was a feat. I received an email from the teacher telling me that Cap wouldn't try on the other kids jackets to see which size I would need to order. Crap here we go. So I email the teacher and tell him I will talk to Cap and could he try them on on another day. I explain to my son that the jacket will have to be worn when he shows his goat (a whole other issue) and that it would make it easier for me to order if he would just try one on so I could order him the correct size. HE DID IT!!
So to enter the show we needed to take our goat up to the barn on Wednesday night. Check in must be done by 8pm or else bum bum bum he won't show. So we leave early to get our goat up there. Good thing since our goat had pulled his tag out of his ear and we had to wait for the teacher to put it back in before we could check in. So yeah, waiting was so much fun with my son. NOT! We check the goat in, bring him food water and wait he is in a pen with 3 other goats. Oh geez. It's okay it worked out fine Thank God. So my son does not show his goat until Friday, but needs to be there to support the kids that show the other animals on Thursday. So yes, he wants Mom to be there. I can do that:) Holy moly that was one long freakin' day. We fed the goat, walked around, watched the other kids show and actually had a good time. (Despite the rain that started that morning and looked like it wasn't going to stop anytime soon.) We left 4pm and went to pick up his dad and came back to bath, feed and water his goat. We had until 8pm and then we had to get out. So we hurried.
Friday morning we were all there at 7:30am and it was raining. The lot was a muddy mess, but we were there. We fed our goat, loaded him with water and then the worry started sinking in. My son has to be able to "brace" the goat to show him. He had been practicing, but the goat had been having none of it. So I chatted to some kids around us and they tried helping Cena cooperate. Cena was having none of it, but Cap got some good pointers out of it and right before show time was starting to get the hang of it. Meltdown one, he was getting irritated with the goat and kids were starting to stare. ugh please let him get this. I told him just get through this and I would buy him 2 packs of sour patch straws. His favorite:) Needless to say I was a quarter's width away from pulling my son out of the show. I was not going to send my son out in front of all those people and kids to be laughed at. How could I do that? My son amazingly wasn't worried at all. This is so unlike him. He is usually the worrier, doesn't want people to stare at him and duh doesn't like the unknown. I had never done this before I had nothing I could tell him and he wasn't asking. I was flabbergasted and in territory I'm not used to with this child. Did I mention that morning I puked twice of nerves? OH and I let my youngest son miss school to attend also, for moral support. He is very close to his brother - well all my kids are close to eachother I'm so blessed.
Any who, the time had come he was to line up and his grandparents had driven 3 hours to watch him show. I stayed with him as long as I could and wished him luck. Told him to do it his way and just watch what everyone else did. I took my seat.....
Needless to say my son's comment to me was "Mom, I already know I'm gonna get sifted and I'm okay with that." My thought when I heard this relief, but then I realize he has to still hold that dang "brace" with his goat. What if the goat goes ape crazy while he is still standing on the side lines. Can you feel my worry yet? I lost 2 pounds in those 2 days. So in he goes, I'm in a front row seat and I'm watching my handsome looking son. He trots the goat around the pen along with all 18 other kids in his goats weight class. Yep 19 total, can you imagine how long he is gonna have to stand in there with Cena? Sick sick I was I tell you. So they walk around, then they stand in line and show the goat. My son looked like a pro:) I was so relieved thank you God for listening to all my prayers. He stood there and the judge did his thing and passed him by. The judge pulled out kids and lo and behold my son is still in the contest. Sweet Jesus really?! More kids get sifted out and now my son is the last one from his school still in there. I laugh and tell my mother in law "right now Cap is saying to himself, I can't believe I'm still in here". lol Well, it didn't last much longer then he gets pulled, but the judge comes back one more time to feel on his goat again. Nope he was just wanting one more feel I guess. So I'm containing tears that he did so well. He did better than any of us were expecting I mean it was his first year. Then he ended up placing and getting a ribbon. He placed 8th WOW!!
Oh then they told him since he placed don't change your clothes, you will need to go back out there. This is really a good thing, unless you are having to constantly tell your kid it's a good thing. lol He survived it though. Oh did I mention when he has to back out there he will have to "brace" his goat again. lol It's an opportunity for him to try and make auction with his animal. Well, little meltdown before due to waiting and then he rocked it again. We were so relieved when Friday was over. We had no idea what Saturday had in store. Cena would be in the freezer sale. That is not fun in any kind of way, but I'll hold off on that. That was a day of meltdowns, exhaustion and frustration and I'm not just talking about for my son. lol
What did I learn from this? Don't sell my son short!! He's grown alot since ABA and having to know what's coming all the time. He still asks what the "plan" is for the day sometimes, but I just say I don't know. AND he deals with it better than I ever dreamed possible. I learned so many things in those days - amazing things about my son. I love him so much<3

The Goat

Well, the goat journey was an interesting one. It brought our close family even closer. I never would have thought we would all get so much out of the Ag class as we did. Yeah, my son is diagnosed PDD, and animals are his "thing." So we did he wanted to take Ag. My son spent his time with Cena. The name of our goat Cena means dinner. We were trying to pick something so we all wouldn't lose focus. lol I'll tell you now it didn't work. Anyway, every day after school we fed him, walked him and played with him. We all did something. Whether we were just sitting out there with Cap or helping him muck out his area. We all did it together.
My son's nickname is Cap. My son got the nickname from his aunt. (It's a Shirley Temple thing). Anyway we would all kid that the goat would call for him when he walked away since when he "cried" it sounded like Cap.
I knew my son was having issues around December with the goat. He wasn't wanting to spend time with it & getting him to practice things with him were well...challenging. I asked him what was going on. He sat with me on the hammock by the goat pen and said, "Mom, I'm kind of getting worried I'm getting to attached." WOW!! He was struggling with knowing what he has to do and what he was going to have to do. In the end we have to show it and it goes well bye bye. Little did we know it would be hard on all of us. That is for the next post though:)
I will tell you as a mom all I did was encourage him, push him and love him through. I pushed him like I would my other kids - no easy breaks. At times I'm not sure if that makes me a good mom or a bad one, but I believe that is how he has become as independent as he has. He didn't like it, but in the end I hope he appreciates why.

AG experience

Well this is our last week with my son's goat. He has done really well on his responsibility. He feeds it twice like he is supposed to. Cleans out his pen and walks him. I noticed he wasn't spending as much time with him once December started. Couldn't figure out why at first. Then it hit me. He was struggling internally with knowing we would be getting rid of him. So I asked him why he doesn't spend time with his goat anymore. He said the typical Cap response, "I don't know". I know what that means. He was struggling like I thought. Little did I know that talking to him I would tell my self the same thing. We had broken a "farmers" rule - we had gotten attached. It sure wasn't hard.

The Goat journey begins

So my ASD son had as you know begun high school. He chose Ag as one of his electives. Raise an animal and learn to care, show and sell it to earn some college money. Woot. I just hope my son gets the whole "show" part. He hates people "looking" at him and of course doesn't really like the "unknown". I'm counting my fingers and saying prayers.
Today we took him to his goat number drawing. This is where you wait your turn to draw a number to find out when you get to pick your show goat. Ahh alot of stuff just to pick the goat. Lol.
So on Saturday bright and early we will be at the Ag Barn along with every other Ag kid in the district and wait our turn to pick a goat. Oh yeah did I mention what number my son drew ....140!! We will be waiting awhile. I guess that is why they said it will go from 9am to 5pm. I just hope I can keep him interested and not get fidgety and have to hear "when will we be done" a zillion times. I'm sure I'll hear something from him, but I will pack him something to eat :) that will definitely keep him happy and have a fully charged phone he can goof on. Sometimes there is a time and place for Netflix in your phone - this is going to be one of them.
My husband and I are going into this positively. Animals are his thing so I believe he can do this. I just have to support him and remind him it's okay to make mistakes we are learning together. He doesn't have to know it all yet. I don't want to think of the show part since that isn't until February:)
Here's to the Ag experience!!

Newest challenge

So my son that started high school, CJ, enrolled in the Ag class at school. I mean duh the kids loves animals and everything that has to do with animals. It's one of his gifts with Autism. He is excited about raising the goat, yep that is the animal he picked. So I'm glad I'm excited too and the teachers for this class are wonderful. They have so much knowledge that CJ just soaks it up. There are sine days when they talk about stuff and he can't write it all down fast enough. His spelling isn't his strong suit so he does what he can and listens to the rest to tell us about when he gets home. So we have paid for the goat and now wait till the end if the ninth to draw for a goat. This is new to all of us so many prayers are needed. I know CJ will do great raising this animal I just worry about showing it at the "fair". He doesn't like everyone "looking" at him and he won't be sure of EXACTLY what he is supposed to do and that equals lots of mommy talking and trying to calm him down. I'm staying positive and hopefully he'll just watch and see what the others do:)

High School days

So this year my middle son enters high school and my youngest 8th grade. My oldest, my daughter, is still being home schooled, but I wish sometimes selfishly she would just "survive" public school.
Any whoo - I made it a point to contact key people before this high school year began. At the urging of my son's math teacher (and might I say Godsend) I am the squeaky wheel!! I emailed and made sure to ask in what way they would be supporting my son and I with the upcoming school year. I also made sure to remind them that with Autism routine and the unknown changes would be our first hurdle so I would need his school schedule so we could go over everything before his fateful first day. At this school they dint usually get the schedules until the first day which was one of the reasons my daughter struggled and she is now homeschooled. The school was new and not prepared for us or at least that is how I felt. So this time I wanted to start off differently for my son. He can benefit with the socialness of it all.
I did finally get his schedule the Friday before school and prayed that would be enough time. I was also lucky enough to find a maintenance man to help us get his locker open that we were unable to do at orientation. Another thing he was told to handle that first day. Hello **knock on head** he will get to overwhelmed and shut down. Ahh relief he was feeling relieved and he opened it several times after that and we went through that schedule until he felt comfortable.
Us running through the schedule and me taking the time to introduce him to key people so he knew them and they knew him was a huge pay off. I didn't feel like when I sent him to Kinder. UNPREPARED. Not us - ever again!!
He came home so loving it. The one thing bothersome was when I asked him who he had lunch with. I ask them all this question every day. Just to see whose names I hear & stay in touch with who they are surrounding themselves with. He was sad because he sat alone. For three days I would ask the same question and get the same answer. Then one day the answer changed not alot, but it was hopeful. He said that a girl came and talked to him about FISH club and asked if he had anyone to eat lunch with. He answered no and that was the end of HIS conversation. I was so annoyed with him. Why??!! I was telling him that was her trying to reach out and help him feel comfortable, but I had to pull the reigns on myself. Duh he is "autistic" social skills dummy. It's a work in progress. So I tell him you go and talk to her and ask her questions about FISH club. The whole speech about trying to meet new people. My sin has the biggest heart. So day 4 he jumps in my truck and I start to ask the usual questions. Before I get to the lunch question he says she walked over to him again. She gives him more info on FISH club and invites him to eat at the table with her and her friends. He was so happy!! His exact statement "I have new friends!!" I cried all the way to pick up his brother. Happy tears are such a blessing. He said she told him he could sit with them anytime and my son's innocent response, "really??" He's been eating with these seniors ever since. They even added 2 more freshman to the group. (I will say every high school should have stand up kids like the ones running FISH club) FISH club stands for freshman in senior hands!!
Tomorrow a better post not from my phone:) It's 1:35am and I need to try and sleep. Zzzzzz